I’m sorry I’m barely answering this, but I haven’t really checked this one. (I don’t even know what I’m doing on it right now…)
I’m making a new blog because of several reasons but two main ones:
1) I want to finally let my friends IRL see my blog. If I keep this one, then they’ll probably see a few things (old posts) that I don’t want them to.
2)My new blog will have structure. This one has gotten unorganized. I want to stay consistent in how I blog.
Why not just follow me on the new one? :-) It’s still the same me. I probably won’t delete this one, because I want to be able to save the posts.
lux-aeternus (This will be my main blog and have textual posts.)
pro-christi (This blog has more pictures of the religious nature.)
Also, feel free to unfollow if you’re already following my new blog.
I’m abandoning this blog and following up on a new one. Feel free to follow me there.
New blog - lux-aeternus
Also, I’m on Twitter - joeysnchz
I’m on instagram - joeysnchz
I won’t be deleting this blog until a later date, but feel free to follow me on the new one and on twitter and instagram. I’ll be available elsewhere also, but later.
I can only see the good in others and not in myself.
the situation.
In October of 2010, I become an official core member for my parish’s (now my “ex-parish”) Edge program. I stayed with them until March of this year. In between, I met wonderful people. I made friends and grew so much in my faith. The fact that I was so involved with my parish really helped me grow as a person. I was able to participate in so many Edge Nights, Life Nights, confirmation retreats, and even a chance to go to Core Member University. I was part of the music group and played in the youth Mass. I met some of my greater friends there. Earlier this year, I made a choice. I made the decision to leave the parish and join another. I figured that I had no obligation to the single parish but rather to the entire Catholic Church. I’m just going to another parish and not leaving the Church, just the single parish. Why would I leave? I felt it was the right thing to do. And maybe it was. I was getting really upset at my parish for several reasons. I thought: Why spend time at the parish if the people I’m (along with other core members) ministering to don’t want to hear the Message? Why spend my time here when we have a D.R.E. who many a times places their daughters before the ministry? Why spend my time there when things aren’t done my way? Why spend my time there when all of these people are incompetent? Why spend my time there if I found a new parish who, at first, seems like the greatest parish on earth? When I made the decision to leave, I thought it was the best thing to do. I thought that God was asking me to do this. And maybe He was. I probably just thought it was for another reason. I thought that He’s finally giving me an opportunity to leave this horrible community! I thought I was going to a place that was going to be as near as perfect as it can be. In fact, the community I moved to seemed to be an answer to my prayers. The priest wasn’t a jerk (and until this day, he still isn’t), unlike the priest in my old parish. Sure, when he spoke to the public during mass, he was excellent! However, when he spoke to you in private or when we were preparing for mass or any other parish event, he was cruel. He talked to us as if we were complete idiots. He’d make faces, as if we didn’t understand what he was speaking of. He couldn’t even remember our names. When I moved to St. Pius X, I loved the priest! I also met their D.R.E. and thought he was great. I met their core team and thought that they were great. I went to their Life Nights and thought that they were great. I even had many opportunities open up to me. I’m now justifying my move by saying that without having switched I would never have known about the vocations retreat or any other events that have been really helpful. However, I believe that if it was meant to be, God would have let me know. Now that I’ve gotten to know these people, I realize that they have just as many problems as those of my old parish. Sure, they’re different, but they’re still there. Don’t get me wrong, I think that they’re great people! I’ve made great friends! It’s just like at my old parish. I met them and thought they were great and then really got to know them.
All of this might seem a bit confusing but here’s the situation: I want to return to my old parish. Why is this a problem? I don’t know. I guess it has to do with the fact that it makes me seem disloyal. I’m not even sure it’s the right thing to do. I feel that God called me to switch parishes, not because of the reason I thought. I believed that He was sending me their so that I can finally be at a parish that I would love! Now, I believe that He sent me their so that I can finally have my eyes open. It was me and my selfishness, my pride that was keeping me from fully realizing that I was needed (probably even wanted) at my old parish. He showed me that this other parish, which I believed to be perfect, had its own problems.
I don’t know whether or not I should return. I don’t want to leave this new parish because I hate being a disappointment. I don’t want to return because I’m afraid of what they’ll do. Will I be accepted back? How will things be? I just don’t know. I never do.
Forgive me if this is confusing. I would just like some prayers or some help.
“It was about this time 6 years ago that I quit smoking. I smoked for 12 years. It’s not something that you’re typically proud of, because I certainly wasn’t. But I will say this, I think God used the experience of that, in a very profound way, to understand the nature of what it means to be an addict. And the line between an addict and a misfit is unbelievably close. As an addict you just have a craving for something and you just fixated on the wrong thing. All along what you were fixated and hungry for was God. Sometimes that addiction, a distorted hunger for God, gets very oppressive and it can redefine the way you live your life. God wants you to rise above it. Maybe you’re [reading] this and you don’t smoke, or you’re not addicted to any substance. But maybe you’re addicted to other people’s opinions about yourself. And maybe your addicted to your own thoughts about yourself. Maybe you’re addicted to fear. Maybe you’re addicted to drama and you don’t know what do if there isn’t drama in your life. Whatever your circumstance is, it doesn’t have to be earth shatteringly horrible, you could just be stuck in your life. God wants a break through for you. And that’s why I wrote the song ‘Rise Up.’ I wrote it because there are people with small and real problems and some people with big and real problems. Any single one of those God is saying, ‘Look at me and I’ll raise your head and I’ll lift you above your circumstance.’ And I think that Church does that together corporately, then we’ll see lambs that roar like lions. Not because of what they’ve done but because of what God is able to do through them.”
Matt Maher, behind his song ”Rise Up”A rosary a day will keep the evil away.
What the soul wills, the flesh does not want.
I’m pretty confident that many of you can relate to this. We strive daily to live according to the Will of God. We’ve got our hearts, our souls, and our minds praising and worshipping Him. We want to give everything to God, but our flesh is battling against us. Sometimes we win. Sometimes we lose. We trust that by the grace and love God had for us, we will overcome. However, our nature makes us so weak. Some of us may struggle with this more than other, but we all pretty much do. There is a sin that I personally struggle with. It doesn’t happen as often as it used to, but it’s still hangs around. I keep telling myself it’s okay. “You can do it this one time.” Most of the time, I will be able to resist - all because God strengthens me. Other times, I fall victim. It is then when I am at my weakest. I’m calling out to God, but I can’t hear Him. It’s not because He isn’t responding. He is. He’s inviting me to go back to communion with Him and His Church. He’s telling me, “Go seek reconciliation.” I try to go every week, but things come up. Obstacles are placed in front of me. Sometimes, I place them in front of myself. I want to, I strive for the sacrament, but my body tells me “no.” If I wait too long, I get weaker. I start sinning more. I tell myself, “It’s okay now that you’re already in trouble. Don’t worry about it because you’ll just tell the priest in confession.” I lie to myself. I want to stop doing that. Right now, I’m at a very low point. I’m sinning more than I should. It’s probably because I haven’t gone to confession in three weeks. I need all the protection I can get. St. Michael, Blessed Mother Mary, Guardian Angel, St. Joseph, all holy men and women, pray for me. It would be really helpful if I had people to talk to, but I don’t. I’ll stick with God and if He places me with somebody, then I will go with them. For right now, all I can keep doing is praying and striving for sainthood.
Road trip! Sort of…
Okay. This weekend has been great. I haven’t really been liking school, but I can get through. On Friday, I went to class and ended the school week nicely. We’ve been watching episodes from the HBO mini-series “Band Of Brothers” in my English III. It’s an epic war time story. My Physics class is so-so. I took a quiz on magnetism but probably failed. In PE, I played dodgeball - something our coach rarely let’s us do. Because of the fact that I had allergies, I nearly collapsed on the court. I had trouble braeathing through the rather intense game. Oh, and then we had a fire drill while we were in the locker room - changing. My final class ended well. After school, I went to my friends house to make some final arrangements for todays event. My friends and I went to WalMart and bought some shirts. Instead of going back home and being productive, we started riding around the city. We bought snacks and joked around. We even filmed some of my friends dancing behind strangers at stores. After about 2 hours that were only supposed to be 10 minutes, we started working on the shirts. I went home early because I lived the furthest. This morning, I woke up and went to my friends house. He’s 21 and drove us to Corpus Christi. The ride to the city was pretty boring, except when we were nearing the checkpoint. We got to Pope John Paul II High School - early. There wasn’t anybody there when we arrived. We decided to go eat lunch. We got back to the school, which now had quite a few people. We started helping with set up. The rally started and we had about 6 performances. 2 times did we present a skit. One skit was to about abortion and done to Nick Cannon’s song “Can I Live?” The other was to a song called “La Via Dolorosa” (translated to “The Path of Sorrows”) and it was about the passion, death, and resurrection of Christ (our awesome God). The final singer was Dave Moore, which then took us out to eat at Sonic. He was such a great singer and a really nice person. Now we’re on our way home. We’re not done with God’s work quite yet. Tomorrow we have a retreat at our parish. We usually do things for other parishes, but this time it’s for our own immediate community. Keep us in your prayers. Please and than you. God bless! It’s time for me to rest.
P.S. I’m on a phone. You know what that means.
I love how they use Bl. John Paul II’s “Be not afraid” to get the teens to clean up. Oh, the magic of Catholic humor.
Dave Moore, a talented musician, and myself. (Taken with instagram)
A statue of Pope John Paul II.
Faith. Reason. Virtue. Be not afraid.
A walkway at John Paul II High School. #RockItFest2012
